A Meditation for Priests on Holy Thursday
By Abp. Soc Villegas
“And the fire on the altar shall always burn, and
the priest shall feed it, putting wood on it every day in the
morning…This is the perpetual fire which shall never go out on the altar.” (Lev 6:12-13)
”When He was at the table with them, He
took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then
their eyes were opened and they recognized Him … They asked each other
“Were not our hearts burning within us …?””(Luke 24, 30-32)
EVERY now and then, a younger brother priest would
come up to me with these words, “How can we keep the fire of our
priesthood alive? After only a few months after ordination, I already
feel bored. I feel dry. I am not excited anymore. I might not last.” “A
priest who is not at peace with himself will not be able to inspire
peace in another soul. O priests, you bright candles enlightening human
souls, let your brightness never be dimmed. “(Divine Mercy in my Soul, Diary of St. Faustina, 75).
Lost Fire
Every priest knows that feeling of the well drying up
and the fire dying. The ordination honeymoon seems to end so quickly
and monotony soon sets in. Burning out, running on empty—the feeling is
all too familiar.
The onslaught of all these feelings boils down to
prayer, or more specifically, the lack or neglect of it. Indeed,
pastoral action is attractive and emotionally rewarding, and priests
tend to be consumed by it. But when we sacrifice personal prayer for the
sake of pastoral action, burn out, boredom and monotony will set in
fast.
Unfortunately, the first victim in this boredom and
burn out phenomenon is the Mass. We offer the Mass haphazardly without
noticing it because we no longer examine our consciences anymore. We
rush the prayers and omit the songs forgetting that the face of God is
more important than the face of our wristwatch. We rehash old homilies ad nauseam.
We put on the Mass vestments like we put on our ordinary shirts and
pants and after we unvest, we just throw them on the table of the
sacristy, in a rush to go to another appointment. The source and summit
of our Christian life has become just a duty to do and a source of
revenue. Sad! Why? How can we reverse the path?
In our desire to invigorate our seemingly humdrum
life we begin to indulge in “other pursuits.” We explore hobbies and
sports — photography, golf, tennis… We pursue further studies. We join
more socials. Buy more gadgets. Take longer and farther vacations.
But the happiness continues to evade us. “In our age,
as in every age, people are longing for happiness, not realizing that
what they are looking for is holiness”. (Jerry Walls, Preachers’ Magazine, November 9, 2003). The
fire could not be reignited. We become mediocre and lukewarm and get
accustomed to bland, tasteless water. We just submit to the reality that
the wine of the Lord is no more.
Find Him where You Lost Him
It need not be so. You will find God where you lost
Him. You lost Him at Mass? You will find Him there again. “… The whole
Church draws life from the Eucharist, all the more then must the life of
a priest be “shaped” by the Eucharist. So for us, the words of
institution must be more than a formula of consecration; they must be a
“formula of life“. (Letter of John Paul II to priests on Holy Thursday 2005, n.1).
Where in the Mass can we recover the Lord? As a
brother to a brother, I encourage you to look at the silent prayers at
Mass that we tend to gloss over or even totally ignore or forget because
of haste or lack of concentration. “Even
before the celebration itself, it is commendable that silence to be
observed in the church, in the sacristy, in the vesting room, and in
adjacent areas, so that all may dispose themselves to carry out the
sacred action in a devout and fitting manner.”(GIRM, 45)
The priest’s silent prayers in various parts of the
Mass are personal prayers that will help us to see ourselves not just as
ministers for the validity of the sacraments but as fellow worshipers
of the priestly people. The silent prayers prescribed for the priests
during the Mass are not for the people but for us. These silent prayers
remind us that we are not only there to bless; we also need to be
blessed. We are not just at the ambo to teach; we are there to be taught
also. We are not just there by the altar to minister; we also need to
be ministered to. We are not just functionaries. We are not just tools.
The Lord calls us His friends.
The silent prayers of the priest at Mass, if properly
prayed, will awaken in us that sense of awe and amazement as we perform
our holy duty. “This amazement should always fill the Church assembled
for the celebration of the Eucharist. But in a special way it should
fill the minister of the Eucharist.” (Ecclesia de Eucharistia, 5).
Saint Charles Borromeo said in one of his last homilies, “Another
priest complains that as soon as he comes into the church to celebrate
Mass, a thousand thoughts fill his mind and distract him from God. But
what was he doing in the sacristy before he came out for the Mass? How
did he prepare?”
How do we prepare for Mass? There is no substitute to
silent prayers before putting on the vestments. Put on your vestments
silently praying. Resist chatting in the sacristy. Recollect. When you
vest for Mass, you put on Christ. Your alb is white, so must your soul
be. As you put on your beautiful and expensive Mass vestments, look into
your soul and make sure that your soul is more beautiful than your
vestments.
Liturgical discipline requires us to cover our
secular clothes with liturgical vestments like the white alb or the
white cassock. Putting on these white vestments is like putting on a
spirit of love and almsgiving. Almsgiving covers a multitude of sins,
the Lord says. Love does not hide; love makes us new. The vestments do
not conceal; the vestments say you are a new man. Christ is in you, with
you. Remember your dignity with humility.
“Sacred silence also, as part of the celebration, is
to be observed at the designated times. Its purpose, however, depends on
the time it occurs in each part of the celebration. Thus within the Act
of Penitence and again after the invitation to pray, all recollect
themselves; but at the conclusion of a reading or the homily, all
meditate briefly on what they have heard; then after Communion, they
praise and pray to God in their hearts.”(GIRM, 45)
Sense of Mystery, Sense of Awe
Do you still pause after saying “Let us pray” before
proceeding to read the presidential prayers? This pause for silent
prayer is a sign of respect for the people who need to join their
prayers to the priest’s. This pause is also for the priest to remember
that he must carry in his words the unspoken words of prayer from the
community. The priest is presiding. The pause after “Let us pray” is a
reminder that he is not alone. The whole cosmos benefits from his act of
worship. What an awesome act of a priest! You will never completely
understand this mystery because if you would, you could die. It is too
much to be contained by our limited hearts.
Do you still bow to the altar before proclaiming the Gospel and pray fervently and silently “Almighty God cleanse my heart and my lips that I may worthily proclaim your Gospel”? How important indeed is purity of heart! “Purity of heart is to God like a perfume, sweet and agreeable.” (St. Nicolas of Flue) The Lord taught us so at the Mount of Beatitudes. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Mt 5:8). Purity
is detachment from all and attachment to our All. Purity is self
emptying so that all that we are can be dedicated to God. “The pastor
should always be pure in thought, inasmuch as no impurity ought to
pollute him who has undertaken the office of wiping away the stains of
pollution in the hearts of others…for the hand that would cleanse from
dirt must be clean, lest, being itself sordid with clinging mire, it
soil whatever it touches all the more”. (Gregory the Great)
Decades ago, Bruce Lee, a master of the martial arts, said: You must free your ambitious mind and learn the art of dying. The cup realizes itself only by being empty. Be yourself.” This is the purity of heart that is essential before proclaiming the Gospel. Christ speaks to His people through us.
Our lips need cleansing from all the murders they have done. “…the
tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do”. (Jas 3:5) When
our lives deny what our lips proclaim, we bring death to the lives of
many. As we stand before the ambo to proclaim the Gospel as written by
the evangelists, the people look at us and ask, “Father what is the
Gospel according to you?” The world does not need teachers. The world
needs witnesses. We are ordained by the Church to be sent. We are sent
to teach but we must talk only when necessary because the most important
component of preaching is living the message.
After proclaiming the Gospel, we kiss the book and pray “May the words of the Gospel wipe away our sins.” Do
we still humbly pray this? The first person who must be changed by the
Gospel should be the priest. We kiss the Gospel to show our love and
reverence. Not all kisses are born from love though. The Lord surely
received many kisses from his sinless mother as a baby, as a child and
surely when his bloodied lifeless body was placed on her lap. Remember,
too, the kiss on his feet by the repentant woman. And surely you will
not forget the famous kiss in the garden of agony from his betrayer.
“…are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?” (Lk 22:48) How
do we kiss the Gospel? How do we kiss the Lord? We cannot imitate the
kiss of his sinless mother because we have long lost our innocence. We
can only choose between the kiss of a traitor and the kiss of a
repentant servant. When finally you raise your head after kissing the
Gospel and begin the homily, you teach the people of God as a fellow
sinner. Let the Gospel touch us first. The best proof of a spirit-filled
homily is not when people applaud us, but when they bow their heads,
strike their breasts and say, too, “May the words of the Gospel wipe
away our sins”.
Humility, Humility, Humility
The life of the priest is a life offering. Therefore, it is not
surprising that at the offertory of the Mass, the priest has three
silent petitions. “By the mystery of this water and wine, may we
come to share in the divinity of Christ, who humbled himself to share
in our humanity.” The second prayer is “Lord God, we ask you to receive us and be pleased with the sacrifice we offer you with humble and contrite hearts.” Finally the third silent prayer is “Lord, wash away my iniquities and cleanse me from my sin.”
Water is life. Water is a great teacher. Bruce Lee said, “Be flexible.
Be formless. Be fluid. Be shapeless like water. You put water unto a
cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the
bottle. Water can flow or it can crash or creep. Be water my friend.
Water has the continuity of movement. Water of life is mixed with the
wine of joy. “You will show me the path of life, fullness of joy is in
your presence”. (Psalm 16:11) Our life is Jesus. Our joy is Jesus. “…We
have joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we are now
at peace with God.” (Romans 5,11)
St Augustine was asked, “What are the ways to God? First is humility. Second is humility. Third is humility.” Humility is seeing yourself as God sees you. .” Until a man is nothing, God can make nothing out of him”.-(Martin Luther). God loves humility because God loves Truth. Humility is truth but not only truth; it is truth in love. “Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God’s grace.” (Divine Mercy in My Soul, Diary of St. Faustina, 55).
The humility that is asked of a priest is not about
self deprecation or suppression of our talents. Humility is rather the
acknowledgment of the greatness that God has done through us. “What is
mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for
them?” (Psalm 8, 4) And the fruit of true humility is a merciful and
forgiving heart. Seeing something divine in others, the truly humble
person becomes incredibly, endlessly and foolishly merciful. The proof
of humility is compassion. “Humility is the solid foundation of all the
virtues.” (Confucius). A proud priest is a contradiction. “Let us take care so that our own failure may not cause injury to the Church” (St. Ambrose)
Broken Bread, Broken Priest
As he prepares to give the body and blood of the Lord to his people, the priest prays again, “May this mingling of the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ bring eternal life to us who receive it.” Do
not be afraid. Take courage. As the priest breaks the bread, may he
remember the repeated times he broke the heart of our merciful Lord. “O
God, be merciful to me for I am a sinner.” (Luke 18,13) I
always find it heartbreaking to break that bread because the act
confronts me with my own brokenness that comes from sin and guilt. But
the brokenness of the Lord springs from his love. How far my life is
from the life of my Lord!
I must relish the sacrament of penance. I need to
return to the confessional right after this Mass, sit there with much
patience and compassion because I am myself a sinner. Priests are not
angels. If we start to think and act like angels, we will end up acting
like beasts. The barometer to gauge the depth of our spiritual life is
the frequency of our confession. We may be good administrators or fast
builders or eloquent teachers or popular pastors, but if we are far from
the sacrament of penance we are only ourselves. We are not another
Christ. . ”The priest’s spiritual and pastoral life, like that of his
brothers and sisters, lay and religious, depends, for its quality and
fervor, on the frequent and conscientious personal practice of the
sacrament of penance. The priest’s celebration of the Eucharist and
administration of the other sacraments, his pastoral zeal, his
relationship with the faithful, his communion with his brother priests,
his collaboration with his bishop, his life of prayer – in a word, the
whole of his priestly existence, suffers an inexorable decline if by
negligence or for some other reason he fails to receive the sacrament of
penance at regular intervals and in a spirit of genuine faith and
devotion. If a priest were no longer to go to confession or properly
confess his sins, his priestly being and his priestly action would feel
its effects very soon, and this would also be noticed by the community
of which he was the pastor.”(Pastores Dabo Vobis, 26) ( Reconciliatio et Paenitentia, VI).
A Crisis of Saints Among Priests
Right before receiving the Lord in the Eucharist, the priest bows humbly and whispers, “Lord
Jesus Christ, with faith in your love and mercy, I eat your body and
drink you blood. Let it not bring me condemnation but health in mind and
body.”
Every reform in the history of the Church started with the reform of priests. The crisis of the Church is really a crisis of saints among priests. We lack saints but we have too many celebrity priests. The luster of celebrities is temporary. The saints will shine like the stars for eternity. May all priests be saints and may I be a saint with them.
What a great mystery, what a great gift the priesthood is! The
decreasing number of young men ready to answer the call can be a symptom
of a deeper crisis in society—the loss of the sense of mystery and
absence or lack of comprehension and appreciation of the meaning of
gifts. “There is spreading in every part of the world a sort of
practical and existential atheism which coincides with a secularist
outlook on life and human destiny… The individual … finds himself ever
more bereft of that “supplement of soul” which is all the more necessary
to him in proportion – as a wide availability of material goods and
resources deceives him about his self – sufficiency. There is no longer a
need to fight against God; the individual feels he is simply able to do
without him.” (Pastores Dabo Vobis, 7).
In a society that is only focused on the palpable and verifiable, on the
logical and scientific, mystery is absurd and has no place. In a
society where everything seems to be available in the classified ads and
the media offers everything for sale, all gifts have price tags and no
one needs to express thanks. If we regain the sense of mystery and awe,
the capacity to dream and wonder, we will regain the meaning of living.
If we can say “thank you” and “please” more often, we shall realize that
so much in life is a gift and we have so many people to thank and so
much to be thankful for. And we can be happy again!
Priests are mystery men. Priests are gifts of God to the world. Priests are gifts of the world to God. I am His priest and I am grateful, forever grateful. “Live the mystery that has been placed in your hands!”(Pastores Dabo Vobis, 24).
Learn the Art of Dying
On eating the body of the Lord, the priest prays silently, “May the body of Christ bring me to life everlasting.” And drinking from the cup he whispers, “May the blood of Christ bring me to life everlasting.” As he purifies the sacred vessels, he prays,“Lord may I receive these gifts in purity of heart. May they bring me healing and strength now and forever.”
Bruce Lee said: Success flows from dedication and self knowledge.
What was success for Bruce Lee was holiness for Jesus. Bruce Lee only
saw success and nothing beyond it. Jesus pointed beyond success and
opened the door to perfection. Be perfect as your heavenly Father is
perfect, Jesus taught. What is the way to success? What is the way to
perfection? In this Bruce Lee and Jesus shared a common road
map—sacrifice.
If the seed dies, it bears fruit. “Unless a grain of wheat falls into
the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much
fruit” (John 12,24). If you want to be my disciple, carry your
cross daily and follow me. “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny
themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9, 23) Bruce Lee echoed this Christian tenet in these words: You must free your ambitious mind and learn the art of dying. The cup realizes itself only by being empty.
There is no holiness without the cross. There is no love without sacrifice. How must the priest live out this call to die? Cardinal Sin taught me two very important lessons on dying. The Eucharist and the confession are sure ways to the art of dying. Free your ambitious mind through confession. Learn the art of dying through the Mass.
Our vocation is such a great blessing but it can also be a great
temptation. The priesthood can lead us to heaven as we touch heavenly
things here on earth or it can lead to our damnation if we take for
granted the holy mysteries we hold. If the priest wants sincerely to
take care of their vocation, three things are necessary: celebrate Mass
daily, pray the complete Liturgy of the Hours faithfully everyday and go
to confession monthly.
Finally, I have been asked “What is my most memorable day as a priest?” I
readily said “Everyday!” Everything is grace. Grace is everywhere.
Every moment is grace.
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